Just Then I’m Empty Again

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I was reading today about annihilation
and apocalyptic lyrics
and I felt my body go numb
have we been too comfortable
grown complacent in our vigilance

and it dawned on me
why I missed our cold-shouldered wars
and how they burned with electric fire
like winter sparks between our lips

because they were beautiful
catastrophic

back then we yearned for each other
not as a match to the stove, but
with the heat of a sparkler at its core
a fiery spectacle of protest
against our youth and careless ignorance

we armed ourselves with munitions
and unfounded accusations

we lobed words like warheads
but always ran in to dress each other’s wounds
like white hats in a battle torn zone

and I realized, JUST THEN, while
contemplating the other side
of metaphor and poetry
why I’d become so fascinated
by the prospect of war

because I’M EMPTY

a black rain, like darkness,
had dampened our lust for passion
life washed us clean with mud
and replaced that zealous rage
with dishtowels and laundry
overtime – mortgages

and I fantasized, AGAIN,
with a hopeful sickness as vile as
the smell of her sweat on your laundry
that those missiles had landed here
and burnt it all away

KMcGee – 2017

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